Giving light

I am crazy busy these days, specially at finishing my homework for the course I am taking on line at the University (it ends tomorrow!! so this is the last and most important days), but also with work and running after Adiel. She is unstoppable and learning so much everyday... However, I wanted to stop by and share a few words of advice I am writing to my friend Aida for her labor (due date is today!). I thought maybe you have some recommendations to share as well... (...oh, those days we were all learning about becoming parents in our childbirth class!)

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Dear friend, without any doubt I can say nothing in my life has ever been so explosive, powerful, intense, empowering, healing, emotional and wonderful as giving birth to my daughter. With all my heart I wish your experience is perfect for you and your baby, that you are able to go through it as if it is the most beautiful gift and that it will grant you all you expect from it. This is a short list of advices and reminders I wrote to myself during pregnancy, with the purpose of having them close and read them in my early labor. These are words from what I learned in my prenatal yoga class, my childbirth class, and the books I read. Then, I also added a few points from my birth experience. I do not recall exactly what comes from where, but I have to however recommend 2 brilliant books (I might or might not be quoting): "Birthing from Within", and "Bountiful, Beautiful, Blissful" (they are a pregnant mama must reads!!). 

Words for labor, giving birth or, as we say in Spanish, giving light (dar a luz):

1. The only certainties for labor are: it will be hard work, it will be painful and you will be able to do it. Labor is a wild ride... you will not know when it will start, what will happen, how much it will hurt and how long it will be, but you can be in disposition to take whatever comes your way with love and strength, and trust that is the best for you and your baby.
2. Your body won't give you anything you can't take.
3. Give birth with your body and not with your mind. Lose yourself into it. Giving birth comes from within you, from a universal consciousness that encircles all generations of women that came before us. Your body knows what to do and the more you let it do it, while shutting your mind and trusting, the simpler it will all be. Nature will do its own thing if you allow it to work for you.
4.  When the time comes that contractions overtake you, there might be a visualization that help you through it. A phrase I took for myself is "open like a flower". It's a nice reference!
5. Forget about time. Do no ask anybody to tell you the time because it might generate anxiousness. "Laborland" has its own time and space. Go to your inner self, to your baby... whatever goes on outside is not your problem.
6.  Breath, breath, breath deep. Breath with an open throat and a long rhythm... like the sea or the mountain breaths. When you groan with a high pitch, there is resistance and pain, your throat closes and the sound is distressing. If you moan in a deeper way (exhaling with a wide "aaaaah", instead of a high "ayyyy") it will help you connect to your inner wisdom. Think of the waves coming and going, or the leaves of a tree moving to the soft wind. Contractions are easier with rhythm and harder if you resist and stop your deep breathing.
7. Every contraction helps you to open your cervix and brings you closer to the moment of giving birth and being with your baby. Experience them to the fullest and with gratitude... take one contraction at a time, moment by moment, being in the present.
8. There might come a time when you will want to give up, you might think it is too hard for you and you can not take it... Fortunately, that means you are really really close to giving birth. Then you will surrender to the process. Go to the edge and beyond with no resistance!
9. There is NO correct way of giving birth. Do not judge yourself or your experience, don't feel ashamed, do not feel bad. Whatever you are going through, and the way you are going through it is your own perfect way. Forget about your plans and your ideas of "the ideal way to birth". Respect and embrace your baby's journey and destiny. My ideal way was a water birth... lets just say my Adiel was born in very different circumstances... she was born her own way.
10. A lot of tension is accumulated on the jaws, do not tighten your face and neck... the less tense you are, the more your body will cooperate. Ask the people who will be with you in those moments to remind you to let go of the jaw!
11. Whenever the pain is getting intense and you start thinking you can not take it any more, it makes a world of a difference if you smile. For some reason it snaps you out of being focused on the pain... so give contractions a big smile!
12. There will be people around you during labor (like maybe your mama) that might start getting worried or feeling bad for you. They might be troubled by the pain your are feeling or the way you are expressing it. However, it's very important that you feel absolutely comfortable to express whatever comes to you (you can not control it, so do not try to control it), even if that means shouting and cursing. Talk to your birthing team beforehand and remind them that you can do it and that you are not helpless (you do not want worried faces around you!!). Ask them to be supportive of whatever your body needs to do.
13. Remember your baby is also working very hard to come out. Your baby is your partner here, talk to her and let her know what you require.
14. Do not be afraid!!! We established there will be pain and you can not predict or control anything during labor. It is a very primitive process of your body and you might cry, shout, vomit, pee or poop! Or all of the above! All of that is ok, those are natural body secretions, so do not mind them. Do not be concerned of being unladylike, birthing is not for ladies, is for warriors! Let it be.
15. Talk to your partner and ask him to NOT take anything personal.
16. Move! Even if you have to force yourself it is better to move. Specially when pain takes you, if you stay in one place or position your muscles (working harder than ever) will get a little stiffer with every contraction. Take a few steps, even if it is not the easiest.
17. You need energy, a lot of energy. And you need to be hydrated (it is critical! I know people that had complications because they forgot to drink water). Drink something refreshing with many calories like coconut water. 
18. Push only when your body has no choice but to push. Do not force yourself into pushing. If you are thinking about pushing or thinking about when to push, then it is not your time yet. 
19. If all is good and you have the chance take a few minutes for you and your baby and let her do the breast crawl. I was able to do it, and I cherish those moments. 

I planned a home birth, so I wrote all this thinking I was going to be with my midwife, and that she would guide me, but also respect my needs. I knew I was not going to be hooked up to the IV, at least on my early labor... I ended up in the hospital giving birth naturally, but with a lot of help from a wonderful doctor and my midwife... but there will be a different post with my birth story one day...

The days before the birth there was a lot of "mama drama", navigating on a roller coaster of hormones and emotions. When I gave birth the story of my life changed completely. I had to forget about that little girl who wanted to be good and pretty, to become a mother who thinks always first of her child, who is loving but fearless, tough and compassionate, patient and responsible, a mother who needs to provide stability and equilibrium to her family, becoming the a pillar for my loved ones. 

So, dear Aida and baby Constanza, may you have a beautiful birth experience and be full of blessings, health and joy!

One last share: the SONG I danced with my father on my wedding day, and that accompanied Adiel and me during many sleepy times! I love singing it to her...

My Adiel 2 days old 

Now that we are here, I want to thank Sada, my wonderful yoga teacher who inspired and guided me so incredibly much through many months, and Jake my midwife ,who was like a loving mama to me in the most critical moments on my journey towards becoming a mother, and who sadly passed away a few weeks ago... Thank you Jake, your memory will always stay very close to my heart!

Finally, thank you to all the mamas, my journey sisters, who walked the motherhood adventure with me and who continue to support and encourage me in many levels.

With much love,
Mercedes

Kinder garden action

It was our turn last week to come to Adieli's school as observers and check out her development and interaction with the other babies and teachers. It was great!! She was participating on everything and apparently her favorite activities are music circles and reading (but those might be every baby's favorite activities, hehe, who knows). She was excited when she saw me, I was a distraction, but I was able to take some pictures of her in action.

At times she was just holding on to me... 

Sneaking into the activity of another little one...

Preparing for lunch she washes her hands and sets up her place.

Later that afternoon I had a meeting with the teachers to discuss Adiel's progress. I am so happy she is going there! So, I learned she has a lot of friends among the older kids, and turns out she also has a guide and protector, who she follows around and considers a best friend. His name is Ernesto and he is only a few months older that her (little naked guy running after the ball in previous post).

I am a proud mama...

On other stories, we were in Home Depot last week, and since Adiel was wearing her Journey Sister jacket, I took some shots.

 

Thank you again Sylvie!

Take care,

Mercedes

Taking photos

Many things going on lately, many changes, events, and some good news, here and with you there!

Among our adventures, I did my first photo shoot! It was very simple. My friend Aida is about to give birth, and I totally think no mama should be without a nice photo of her belly, so we captured her pregnancy. These are a couple of my favorite pics...

 

She looks great, doesn't she? It was a nice afternoon, I had a lot of fun.

Then last weekend we went to the beach with Adiel's friends (and families) from the kinder garden. It was very nice to get to know some of them, but all the kids got sun burnt! Here are some of those pics...

Adiel has taken her firsts steps, so the chase will intensify very soon! She is very sweet, but I am having trouble with her nap schedule and she has gotten into a couple of tantrums lately that are hard to manage. What do you guys do when tantrums come? 

Until soon,
Mercedes

Happy Mother's Day

It has been a wonderful year of motherhood. I have been given the beautiful gift of rediscovering the world through the eyes of my little Adiel, and yet more, with her I knew the meaning of unconditional love.

Today I took some photographs of the two of us... I am rarely in front of the lens lately, and I do want her to have these memories.

This is my take on motherhood. A self portrait...

One day I will have a great editing software and good skills, and I will do a nice work with these pictures for her. I love the intensity of her eyes in this one.

And since we were at the beach, I also took some photos of her.

...one day I will learn how to use my camera properly and I will take much nicer photographs... Just imagine the day when the journey sisters start standing still and modeling for me!!

I hope you all had a lovely mother's day.

Until soon,

Mercedes

First day at school!!

She is the youngest one of all the kids (by a couple of months). It is a small Montessori kinder garden where they will encourage her to be her own person and to go for whatever calls her heart, to be considerate... and that there are consequences to everything and to wash her dishes! Even when we came in the first day all the kids knew her name (they would correct each other saying aDiel, with a D, jeje, so cute!).

When I came to pick her up she was covered in sand from the sand box, and she was happy, but as soon as she saw me, she almost started to cry... my darling little one!

In the beginning I am just taking her for a couple of hours a day. After the summer she will be going for longer time. So many things are about to open for her, and I look forward to all of them!

Mercedes

Adiel's rainbow party

We got home from Israel less than a week before Adiel's first birthday. I thought for a second to just let it go, and maybe eat out with daddy and her and let her blow out a candle on the restaurant's slice of cake to celebrate. She will not remember, I had no time to prepare and invite, and I certainly did not want to spend a lot of money. But the truth is I do want her to know and see how special that day was to us. So, I decided to invite a few friends and neighbors to a cake and sweets party, and take a couple of easy DIY decorating projects.

This is Adieli's first birthday and rainbow party:

I got her cake at a local bakery that we love and prepared an ice cream buffet with fruits and goodies. I also got cookies and lots of candy. Luckily for everyone there, Uri thought of serving margaritas and those were a big hit too.

For the decorations, I did a rainbow paper curtain (idea from here), some tissue paper pom poms, lots of paper flowers to decorate the cake (tutorial here), a rainbow paper garland, her pom pom birthday hat (another idea here), rainbow butterfly confetti, the mini garland cake top, and I bought and hung a "Felicidades" (Congratulations) garland and a bunch of balloons for the balcony.  It sounds like a lot, but everything was pretty easy to make (and I got a little help from my friends!).

Here she is with her uncle:

 

We sang Happy Birthday to her in her three languages and then I served her a big piece of cake that she absolutely loved.

It was a beautiful day and we had a good time. 

 

Feliz Cumpleaños mi hermosa Adiel! Que sea un gran año lleno de aventuras y descubrimientos en nuestra montaña, que hagas muchos amigos en tu nueva escuelita, que nos riamos a carcajadas, que hables y opines y me cuentes, que bailemos juntas, que leamos muchas historias, que puedas conocer y rencontrarte con toda la gente que te quiere, que aprendas mucho... que seas feliz amorcito mío! 

Show me some birthday pictures!
Until soon,
Mercedes

Mango

Nice Monday!

Today I am officially back to work. All this time I had been working from home, and that was so hard... at home there is always a different priority, and a little one that shows me more exciting things. But I do love the organization I work for, the people I see at the office, the passionate conversations, the mental stimulation! So, I am officially back at the desk, and I am very grateful for it. I will be attending only half a day, and do the rest from our mountain house. I am also happy because I got some new tasks that will bring a challenge and that will allow me to be creative (did I say I love my boss? he is just the finest person).

On more announcements, Adiel is starting Montessori school! She is so ready for it... I am sure she will love it, she will make lots of cute friends and she will learn so much.

We had a nice day and we celebrated with a mango feast in our patio.

 

She is one year old now. I am so incredibly proud of her! Last weekend I organized a little cake party for her. I did not have much time to prepare, but I love the way it turned out. I will show you pictures later. She got many presents, she's a lucky girl. 

We also decided to start a new tradition and do something good for someone else in her birthday. This year we are making a donation on her behalf to a local non profit that rescues dogs and cats. In the future, I envision some volunteer time and creative fund raising for whatever she wants to support.

Eating mango with her brought me back to my own childhood... we truly are lucky girls!

How are your days?

Until soon,

Mercedes